Bullying

i wasnt bullied myself but my friend was and she used to get chased out of school when she went, and she did want to go to school. she ended up leaving 2yrs earlier than she was meant to because of it and the school did absolutly hee haw to have it stopped. they dont want to do anythin because they dont want the public knowing just how bad the bullying is at it. i think it is a disgrace the way they go on AND these are supposidly the best days of our lives lol personally i think its when you start college or w/e and people have grown up a little bit. hope everythin goes well at the new school though and enjoy yourself missus xx

I was bullied growing up too,  I was, and still am, a bit nerdy hehe.  I think age helps and surrounding yourself with people who have similar interests as yourself really helps.  Get into activities that you can thrive at to help build confidence.  From my experience, there will be bullies at every age and in every activity.  You just have to be strong and like i said, surround your self with people with whom you have things in common.  I am an educator too and we have a NO Tolerance for bullying at our school.  I am really surprised that they hushed it up like they did, is this a case in the U.S.?  Anyways, if you have questions, wanna vent or need advice, feel free to pm me!  Hang in there hun, take comfort in knowing that there are other people experiencing the same thing as you and who care and understand!  ;0)

My case is in the UK, and it's really common here for teachers to ignore bullying.

xoxo

im in uk and i found the that the teachers more or less just joined in with the bullies i hated going to a particular class because the teacher just knew how to put you right down and i despised it.

also when i was working in a primary school for work experience, i remember reporting a child for bullying as she was making this kids life heck, she was kicking her and hitting her and everything and verbal abuse aswell and also saying that she couldnt play because she was ugly and stuff like tha,t these kids were only aged between 4-6 i told their teacher and she turned round and said i was just helping and shouldnt be interfering and that they were kids leave them to it i was disgusted.

Two days later there was to be a new teacher for another class three candidates came for the job one slim woman one slightly overweight and one man after they had gone i was shocked to hear them say the man shouldnt get the job coz he was obviously a pervert for appying and that the overweight woman should definately not get the job because she was an ugly fat b**** i couldnt believe it.
needless to say the slightly overweight woman got it and she was my sisters teacher and she was lovely she was a great teacher, it disgusted me to see the two teachers being all polite with her knowing what they had said

Last edited by Lilmissbabe1986 (07-21-2008 20:14)

How are you different, Lily? I'm just curious. You seem very intelligent, were you too smart for everyone? I had that problem in school. Grades were "open" and kids would get on me about pushing up the teacher's expectations.

I'm ashamed to say around 8th grade I caved and started barely passing.

I was bullied becasue my hair colour is similar to ginger, though it is a type of blonde. I moved into a new house 8years ago and when I went to the local shop one day I heard boys sniggering and calling me GBH (which I later found out to mean Ginger Biccy Head.)
It hurt and so I ran all the way home. As some time passed I developed some breasts and I have to add, they are not small. So the new insult the boys found was 'big ti*s (don't know if that word is too rude?)). So that also hurt. Me, my brother and sister could not go play outside the front of our house because the boys lived across the street.
I then moved from Primary School and a Secondary School and it was a big change, the school itself was known for its bad students and on my first day, some girls bullied me. It made me ashamed.
For three years I walked around with my head toward the floor, trying to bleand into the walls and hope not to get noticed. I then made a new friend, for the ones I had all left because of bullies. She was different and gave me some confidence.
Then I began to make some more friends and one of them was a guy called Kieran. Whenever he saw me walking with my head down, he would tilt my head up and pull my hands from up the sleeves of my jumper. I got more and more used to it and for the first time in my school life I tied my hair off my face.
Then when I hit the last yaer of school I met my closest friends. They were loud and far from the people I would normally hang around with, but something pulled me toward them.
The last year was the best year of my life. I have so much confidence and feel so free. My friends made me feel great in myself and I love who I am. 'ginger' or not. I am me and I love it.

So, to all those people out there who suffer from bullies, find some friends who care for you and who make you feel great about yourself, then when someone puts you down, you won't feel so rubbish about it and if you do, you have all those mates to cheer you up.

Bullying is far from the end of the world and maybe it will last years, but at the end of it all, you are a much stronger person.

Hope you all realise you are amazign people no matter what anyone says.

it's so silly that people bully others for being different. the only reason i can think of is their lack of originality and personality and their subconscious hatred of conformity.

sad, eh?

Lilycerise wrote:

Chestra wrote:

How are you different, Lily? I'm just curious. You seem very intelligent, were you too smart for everyone? I had that problem in school. Grades were "open" and kids would get on me about pushing up the teacher's expectations.

I'm ashamed to say around 8th grade I caved and started barely passing.

Hey,

The main reason one of the girls was bullying me is because in our school we get ranked in most of our lessons, and I was usually first and she was usually second, and I think that really annoyed her. I did think of dumbing down a bit, but then I just thought, no way, it's my life, she's already made the social part heck so why should she make the academic part heck too?

And I think she said I was different because I dress differently to everyone else, sort of punk.... I don't really know...

Thanks for the comments everyone!

xoxo
Ruby

Sounds like a classic case of jealousy.  I'm glad that things seem to be working out well for you now and you're heading to an amazing school.  Good luck and I hope you meet some wonderful new people and make some life-long friends.   

I don't know if this will help or not, but I have a little something to say about bullies--

When I was in middle and highschool, I was one of the easiest scape goats.  Got pushed into things, head smashed into things, was teased mercilessly, openly laughed at, etc.  It hurt, and I thought that was what was making my life heck.

It wasn't.

I don't know if this is true for all of you, but I know that I had a lot of problems already.  No bully can usually "see" problems, but the people who react "best" to bullying generally have something going on already.  Me?  Hereditary depression and bad home life.  A couple friends?  Abusive families, alcoholic parents, poverty, etc.  I think everyone IS bullied at some point or another, and yes, it hurts like heck no matter who is bullied or who is doing the bullying.  But I think the people who are most hurt and hurt most often by bullies already have something else wrong.

For me, bullying didn't hurt because people didn't *like* me (I honestly didn't care--buttmunches are buttmunches and I don't want to be friends with people who can't smile with integrity) but because it brought up this general uneasiness.... I don't know how to describe it.  Suffice it to say that it wasn't until college that I realized something was wrong with how I'd been raised, and that's when I realized the bullies had been the least of my problems, that they'd been a symptom of a larger problem with worse consequences.

I guess what I'm trying to say is-yes, bullies hurt.  No, no one should bully.  But if you are having issues with bullying to the point where you are a very very common scapegoat, have a good hard look at what else could be hurting you.  It might be that the bullying issue you are focusing on is helping you ignore something that could be more painful.  I don't know--its just something I was thinking about the other day.


Oh and finally, PoodleTang--I once actually heard a former bully talk about her past bullying behaviour.  Apparently, she did, indeed, do it because she felt like crap and because, indeed, it did make her feel better about herself.  She did feel guilty but had no idea what to say (this was over heard at a bus station so I have no idea what she did).  Just thought you might want to know.

Being bullied becaus you're diffrent is actually a very cruel thing I got bullied becaus I have Indian in my blood line and also german and my voice sounds strange to people so they picked on me for it but I am sure that you will have a brighter lighter place to look up to you just have to smile.

When I started high school, I pretty much got judged straightaway because my whole family had been there before, uncles, aunties, cousins prob added up to bout 50 and some of the teachers remembered me and treated me like i was a troublemaker without giving me a chance. One teacher in particular wouldve asked me questions in front of the whole class bout my family, but cheek ones. My reputation was automatically bad, everyone in my year was terrified of me even though i had never done anything to them and the higher years used to single me out, punching me and kicking me. unfortunately I proved them right as I lost my temper and thought why bother trying to fit in and started messing up in class I fought back when people hit me, I messed about in class, and finally got expelled but im glad because for the firat time in my life, they had made me feel ashamed for being me.

maybe this was not really bullying but the fact that I felt ashamed of who I was and felt really bad about myself makes me feel it was bullying to some extent.

Last edited by kse08 (08-13-2008 13:33)

IceGem wrote:

But it has affected me even to now, I dont have any long standing friends that I made in school, and I find it hard to make friends because I find it hard to take people at face value and not think that are going to turn on me and make things hard. Hense the friends I do have are all older than me, and grown out of the pathetic b***hiness that some girls even at my age still have.

I totally feel you. Actually, it's the exactly same way that I feel.

There's only one thing I'd like to say: Bad things happen, a lot of people come across bullies and often enough it results in big problems. But ladies, remember one thing: The only reason for other people to attack you is jealousy or fear. What doesn't kill you, will certainly make you waaay stronger (sounds cheesy, but it's so so true), so hold your head up high and remember that you're not alone, as long as you can look in the mirror and look yourself straight in the eyes. No one in the whole wide world can make you feel less worth or a prey as long as you don't let them.